Lileks: When pondering your Mother’s Day gift, don’t forget the best one

I miss mine so dearly, and if yours is still alive go hug her this Mother’s Day no matter where she lives. I remember the little things too – the way she would laugh when people asked if we were sisters, or the way she tilted her head back and closed her eyes when contemplating life.

There is so much I want to say to you – so much I want you to know.

Too seldom are we reminded of all you have done for us.

The mother of all holidays, Mother’s Day, will be here Sunday.

As I realized shortly after her passing, I’m always going to have Mom with me in my heart.

Ensure that your children are able to spend Mother’s Day with you and Father’s Day with their father – it’s simply the right thing to do – good karma and all that.

But how do moms usually react? You could also sign Mom up for the Book of the Month club if she’s still missing the Oprah Book Club. Let it go, and try to love her again, this is your mother after all. It might fill you with a bittersweet type of joy to feel so close to your child who sometimes feels so very far away. Maybe you had years to watch them grow.

What to get Mother? Just look out for any Mother’s Day special events happening in your city and if there is any take her to that. Remember, it’s about a lot more than flowers and chocolate. Trust me, they haven’t forgotten that their children died, that their mothers are buried. They do it without hesitation or misgiving.

As we rocked I read her some devotional things and some Bible verses. At dinner, offer her the thigh part, or ask her to get a slice before everyone else. “O” means only that she’s growing old. She was a wonderful, beautiful, incredible lady and we are missing her greatly. Love, that small four-letter word, carries the abundance of emotions that my husband and I continue to feel each day.

Whenever I mention that I don’t really participate in the whole Mother’s Day thing, someone will nearly always tell me I should visit my grandmother, aunt, family friend, etc. What video gives you that a still photo doesn’t is her voice. And I cherish this most: she, by her own example, taught me how to adapt to change, to loss and to hard situations. This Mother’s Day, let her know that that you haven’t outgrown that.

For the days you lied to your boss so you could go to your kids’ plays, games, school events or make them a birthday party?

If your mother is anything like mine, she will never tell you what she wants for her birthday, or Christmas, or Mother’s Day. Anything that shows appreciation from older children is always a victor: hugs, phone calls, social media posts – if it’s genuine and shows that you took the time to express your gratitude, you can bet we’re bragging about how thankful we are. Make sure it counts. Then, do share it with us. Follow PLDT Home’s Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter or visit www.pldthome.com/connectforreal to know more.